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What to do when you don’t know what to do….

sideways girlWe all have moments in our lives when we are faced with a decision and we don’t know what to do. What school should we go to? What career? Who to date? What do to if we face an unplanned pregnancy? When we feel depressed and don’t know how to get better… list goes on and on.

What do you tend to do when you’re at a crossroads? Do you ask for lots of advice from lots of people? Or do you keep to yourself and quietly make a decision?

I tend to ask for a lot of advice, but then sometimes I regret it because I get so many different angles that I get even more confused!

There’s a saying that goes:  ”Listen to advice and accept discipline, and at the end you will be counted among the wise”.  I think it’s important to ask for advice; it’s just WHO you ask.  Sometimes we ask for advice from people who don’t guide us in the right way, or they are struggling with the same thing we are (ex. they tell you not to date that bad guy but they themselves are dating a bad guy).  Find someone who gives consistent advice and who lives a wholesome lifestyle- someone you can look up to and admire.  Sometimes we need someone who is older too, who has lived a bit more life than us.

I also advise people to not ask more than 3 people’s opinions on a certain decision. Any more than 3, and it can start to get confusing. Maybe you ask your mom, best friend, and a mentor. See if you see any correlations. If all 3 are different, then that might be a sign that the decision you face is really up to you to decide (even though it’s always up to you anyways).  If you see common themes, then that might be a good sign to go with what they are saying. Not always though.

Ultimately, it’s up to you! It’s your life, and every decision you make dictates your future.  No one can make our decisions for us, or at least they shouldn’t attempt to.

If you don’t have anyone in your life who you can ask for good advice, drop me a line! I’m here to support you and help you make informed decisions that you feel good about.

Happy deciding!

-E

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Masks

 

Masks. We all wear them from time to time. Who do you wear your masks around the most? Your parents? Friends? bf? I think it’s easy to put them on without even knowing we are, until one day we look in the mirror and realize that people don’t really know us for who we are.  You may be going through a really tough time with school or family and feel so alone like no one cares. Question to ask yourself: does anyone know that you’re going through this tough time? If no one knows, how are they suppose to help? If we wear the mask that “everything is great” all the time, is that really allowing people into our lives and allowing ourselves to be vulnerable and humble? This is such a hard thing to do, especially in our society where you are expected to take care of yourself and not burden anyone else. The problem with this philosophy is that we go through life ALONE. We could have 500 people that all know our name but don’t know our pain.

Maybe challenge yourself to ask for help and let someone in on what’s going on in your life. Just as importantly, seek out a friend and ask them how they are doing. No, how are they REALLY doing? Tell them that if they ever need to talk, that it’s safe with you.

Life is not about getting as much as it is about giving. Take off the mask and encourage those around you to do the same.

-E

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Love is blind

love is blind?

Do you know a friend who is dating someone and everybody knows that it’s a bad match but they don’t  see it? Then like, 3 months later they break up and all the friends are like “FINALLY!!”?

Here’s a good formula to follow to prevent that for yourself:

1. The longer you are friends with a guy before you date him, the longer you have a chance to get to know him and see any ‘red flags’. Find out what his character is like, how he treats his family (especially his mom and other females). See him in lots of different settings to observe his character.

2. Ask your friends what they think of him. If the majority of them see warnings you don’t see, give it more time (before you date). That way, you can either win your friends opinions over to your side, or you’ll see they are right and avoid a relationship that could end in heartbreak.

3. Ask a mentor (parent, older sibling/friend, someone who is at least 5-10 years ahead of life than you). Tell that person what kind of guy he is and why you want to date him. Have them ask you tough questions. Maybe even have them meet him first.

4. Make a list of all the attributes you want in a guy (min 10). See if this guy lines up with your list. If you have to compromise some things, determine if those things are big to you or not (must be musical vs. must be honest)

5. Don’t get sexually active with him in the beginning. When you start to bond physically it’s SO MUCH more difficult to see ‘red flags’. The longer you hold out, the better. Find out how many different partners he’s had. Find out his track record with dating and why those relationships didn’t work out. This will help you make a decision as well.

What are other things people can do to prevent an unhealthy relationship from forming? (leave your comments!)

-E

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Choices.

 Decisions. 

 Little choices we make every single day.

 Some big, some small.

 What to wear? Who to date? What university to attend?  Who to marry?

 But regardless of size, they very important.

 How much thought do you put into the decisions you  make every day?

 Money. Eating habits. Friends. Appearance. Helping  others. Academics. Family. Dating.

 Don’t ever forget that every decision you make…

 Dictates your future.

-E